Have you ever taken a good look around yourself and realized that a good portion of your friend group was either married, engaged, or basically on the verge? I’ve recently had this realization, that when you lose something, you suddenly start to see everybody else obtain it. Love is just one of the many things that I see this sort of circumstance occur over and over again.
It’s almost as if there is this sort of radar going around, a laser on your back if I may, that targets you the second your relationship ends. New, beautiful relationships blossom out of nowhere, and before you know it - your friends are married with two kids that match perfectly in every photo. How did this happen? When did this happen? And why the hell were you not aware of it?
You want to feel happy for them, you really, REALLY do. You want to believe that the binding of their words creates hope for happiness, and hope for that one day, you too will find that perfect mate. You want to forget what’s his name, or what’s her name, and stop dwelling on the fact that that could have been you. Those could have been your satin and lace wedding invitations, or your dress appointment at Kleinfelds . That could have been your cushion-cut engagement ring or your tulip flower arrangement.
I feel as if we create this world in our minds, one that we so desperately want to become a reality, that when it doesn’t happen, we become so utterly disappointed. The plan in your head had you married by 25 with your first baby by 27, all wrapped up in a pretty bow, signed by The Awesome Ideas I have In My Head Association. Sometimes things don’t go as planned, you know?
Sometimes we take a look around ourselves, and yes, all of our friends are getting married. All of our friends are happy in stable, loving relationships, and we’re at the end of the single person spectrum, eating a microwaveable pizza for dinner because why the hell not. Sometimes the jealous feelings you experience have little to do with being insecure with your relationship status, and everything to do with your own personal plan that you setup for yourself. It’s not that you have to be with somebody to feel complete, you just want to be with somebody, and the realization that you’re not can be somewhat of a lonely one. It takes a while to truly accept the fact that you’re married to yourself until you marry another human being. If that does end up happening, after all.
Why is it that when you lose in the game of love, everyone else seems to be winning it?