Food and the City: An Open Letter To Us Girls, After We Break Up With Him Yum

March 28, 2014

An Open Letter To Us Girls, After We Break Up With Him


Ex-boyfriends.

Some of us have a few, some of us have a ton. But we all have that one. (sorry for rhyming)

You know, that one. The one that you still think about. The one that you wish if you just had one more minute to explain or ask questions or wrap your arms around just to feel them again? Yea.. him.

Rewind a few months prior. You break up, and now girl, you're about to experience some shit. That spacey spiral of out-of-control emotions you experience when you can hardly recognize yourself and your actions and why the hell did you just order a pair of skank shorts off of Forever 21 to "gEt ThE gUyS" that you will probably never wear? For the same reason that you went out for happy hour 5 days in a row just to sit there and eat chicken fingers with your best friend and then end up going home with the bartender? Because you're on planet "WHAT THE F&CK" and the occupancy is you.

Maybe he's your latest ex, and maybe you're the one who broke it off. Maybe you were in a long-term relationship with each other and you felt just a tad bit suffocated and wanted out? You freaked for a sec and had to walk away. To breathe, to grow, to learn more about yourself than you ever could while being with somebody. You're fine! You're cool! You feel alive. Who would ever possibly need a boyfriend? This.is.awesome.

But then all of a sudden your friends are busy. Nobody is around to keep your mind completely occupied and all that your plans consist of for the night is lying in bed watching The Real Housewives of New York, crying every time a commercial you once watched together flashes across the screen. Damn you, Bounty towels. The once fun single life suddenly doesn't feel so fun anymore, but empty and lonely and filled with solo Netflix binges. Who else are you going to Netflix cheat on and watch that next episode (season) of Dexter while your significant other is off at work? Who I ask ???

Your cat? No. Because your cat hates Netflix. Your cat also hates you.

You start to regret the decision you made to break it off, and you realize you miss him more than ever. You wonder why the heck you chose something so small as living your life over him. How could you be so selfish? How could you ever leave the guy you love? There must be something so terrible lurking in your bones.

Maybe you decide enough is enough, and maybe you reach out to him. He ignores your random drunk texts at first, but eventually gives in. The kicker - while you were out having the time of your life, he was busy realizing he was happier without you. He realized the other life that was out there when you're not in a relationship was alive and well. Going out to clubs to get girls, bro-cations, staying at the office late just because. He's happy. He's happy with the way his life is going, and you're just left in the dust with a deflated "I LOVE YOU" balloon and a feeling of disbelief.

How? Why? When? How could he be happy without you? You're freaking awesome, right?

Does he know how upset you are? Doesn't he just know how much you still love him? Doesn't he understand you made a huge mistake, and now you want to rectify it? He either doesn't know, or he just doesn't care.

And its the sad, sad truth, but gUrL, you'll be okay. You'll cry $75 worth of mascara before you're fine, and you'll probably puke $300 worth of booze from all those reckless nights you're bound to experience. You may feel like its all over now, like you don't have the answers to anything and how could you possibly move on. But girl - you'll be fine.

Plan a vacation, blast some rap music, eat an apple. Do good shit. Download Tinder and pretend you're an astronaut from London just in town visiting family. Why the hell not?

To put it simply: You'll be fine. I'll be fine. We'll be fine. Now go out there and be that bad b!tch that we know you are.


Mel is head writer & editor of Food and the City. Be sure to follow her on Twitter + Instagram!