January 09, 2017
The holidays are over. You're fat, you're poor, and your skin is shit. It's January and everybody hates January. People are still adjusting back to their ~real lives~ after 2-weeks off from work that were filled with booze and 0%-17.5% responsibility. Nobody is happy, and stores start to roll-out Valentine's Day candy. Which, you're sort of okay with? But much more okay with when it gets a big fat 50% OFF sticker slapped on it the day after. I may or may not be speaking from experience.
The one good thing about January, though, is that it's the perfect time to map out your yearly goals. I'm not talking about losing 20 lbs in 4 days, or backpacking across an exotic country for 6 months (although if you can do that, do that.) I'm talking about the real, day-to-day, ADULT SHIT. Like, remembering to throw your pizza box out the same night you finish the pizza. And no, not the leftovers. Which by the way, what are pizza leftovers? Or actually going to the gyno when you're supposed to, and not canceling your appointment 6 or 7 times because you just don't feel like being violated on that particular day. I get it, trust me. A pizza box sat on my stove for 3 days last week, and the gyno - lol - new phone, who dis?
But one thing we can't argue, is that if we're subjected to having to be adults, we might as well BE adults, and do all that boring adult shit. But guess what?? It totally doesn't have to be boring, and in fact, will increase your chance of living longer by like 6000%. I made that up, but it seems right.
Here's a list of things that you should keep on top of, not just this year, but maybe, like, every year going forward? Highly reco you bookmark this tab and check it over at the end of the week to make sure you stayed on target. I say that not only to shamelessly increase my traffic, but also because I want you to SUCCEED, my friend, and turn you into a blossoming real-life adult that does real-life adult things.
1) First things first, if you don't have a job, get a job. This is rule numero uno of the Adult Handbook that I'm virtually waving in your face. Having a job isn't optional unless you fall under 1 of 3 categories: 1) You're incredibly wealthy from selling Myspace in 2006, 2) You're great-gran really loved you the most out of all of the kids and left you her $200-million dollar estate, or 3) You're under the age of 10 years old. If you don't fall under any of those categories, and most of us won't, get a job. Annoy your friends to take you to their networking events, MEET PEOPLE, take someone for coffee and pick their brain until they can't see straight. At the end of the day, people like to help people because it shameless makes them feel better about themselves. Let that someone have an ego boost and allow them to help you. Even if it doesn't lead to a job, it may lead to meeting the right person or ending up in the right place at the right time.
If this means relocating, assess your life obligations to your surroundings and decide if it's worth it. Will this be your forever job? Probably not. Most of what you're weighing on whether to leave or not will still be there when you get back. And if it's not, it was going to leave anyway, except now you got to experience a new city with new opportunities.
Bonus* if you do have a job, but fucking hate your job, LEAVE IT. Leave it right now if you have enough funds to get you by. If you don't have said available funds, save until you can leave, or even better, have something else lined up already before telling your boss. Don't stay in a toxic workplace if it causes you additional stress on top of your usual workload. Give a months notice, be kind, and gracefully peace out of that popsicle joint. (and then read the beginning of this step all over again)
2) The amount of garbage that you keep in your apartment is the amount of garbage that you keep in your life. Sounds like a Gandhi quote, I know, but nope - I just made that up. Wham. Anyway - learn what the weekly trash cycle is in your neighborhood and actually remember to put it out the night before. That goes for recycling, too. Garbage in one, and paper + glass in their own respective bag. The penguins getting strangled by your plastic coke bottle rings will thank you.
January 04, 2017
As I look back on 2016, a lot of different memories and emotions come to surface. There was that election, a few vacations, friendships lost, friendships gained, but above all else - there was lots and lots of delicious freaking food.
I spent a good portion of the second half of 2016 up in Westchester County, or as I'd like to call it, the sticks. Just kidding, it's not the sticks, just really inconvenient and far and a 30 minute train or $100 Uber ride away but who's counting you know? I kid, I kid, but my boyfriend was living up there at the time so needless-to-say I got very well acquainted with the suburban life. With new territory comes new eats, and I have to say, Westchester has a ton of gems that may just be worth that 30 minute train ride from the city.
Here are the top 5 things that I put in my mouth that can be found across the county:
1) Capriccio's, Croton-On-Hudson: Capriccio's to Westchester is like Joe's Pizza to us city folk. It's consistent, the locals love it, and they have perfected the plain slice. One of my biggest requirements to pass while I'm judging a pizza joint is whether or not they can impress me with a plain slice. Sure, you can wow me with a specialty mac & cheese or BBQ chicken slice, but can you make me a believer with nothing more than cheese and sauce? Capriccio's passes the test - every time. Pictured is their chicken parmigiana pizza, which is hands down amongst one of the top 5 slices that I have ever tried.
2) Sofrito's, White Plains: If I had to choose a place to brunch in White Plains, Sofrito will always be my go-to option. For $29.95, you get an appetizer, an entree, AND unlimited mimosa's & sangrias. The food is authentic, the portions are huge, and everything I've tried has always been crazy delicious. Pictured is their market salad with grilled chicken from their brunch menu, as well as the pina colada french toast hidden in the back. Which by the way, taste like an actual fucking pina colada. This cannot be missed, so gather your friends and go make some mistakes one Saturday or Sunday for brunch. Many-a-times have I left this place absolutely black-out drunk, so be careful with those sangrias. They are deadly.
January 02, 2017
In this day and age, there are a ton of things that often time feel too good to be true. The shoes you've been wanting are now 75% off and you immediately search the stitching to see how screwed up they are. The dude you like is *actually* reciprocating the same sort of feelings, so you immediately peg him as crazy or "there just has to be something wrong with him."
In a world full of skepticism, it's easy to see something like low-calorie ice cream and turn the other way. In fact, all summer long I followed this brand on Instagram, and all summer long I thought it was total BS. You're telling me that your 280 calorie pint of ice cream is going to taste just as good as my 270 calorie serving sized Ben & Jerry's? GTFO. Sorry, Charlie. I ain't buying it.
But, there came a point in my life where I did buy it. I found myself sitting in front of the fridge wearing a satin Alice & Olivia dress at 3AM after coming home from a bender with my friends, spoon in hand and Half Baked in my mouth. I woke up that next morning feeling so god damn shitty, I swore that I either: A) can't keep ice cream in the house, or B) find an alternative.
I opted to find the alternative.
To date, I have tried 5 flavors from the Halo Top line, and today, I'll be ranking those 5 flavors for: taste, texture, and *flavor authenticity.* This post will be followed up will another 5-pint round up, until we ultimately end up at the OFFICIAL ranking of every flavor. So follow along, fellow creamy lovers.
Birthday Cake; 280 calories per pint
Birthday Cake was the very first flavor that I tried from Halo Top. As someone who is obsessed with all things funfetti cake, I thought this would be a safe bet in trying out the brand for the first time. Well, I had that idea totally wrong, as you should never try the flavor that you absolutely love on the first attempt. You'll always find something wrong with it, because it's just *not* the same. Just like New Yorkers are critical of pizza from California and Boston gives a side-eye to clam chowder found in Mexico, Birthday Cake was my least favorite of the bunch.
That's not to say that is isn't good, and in part I feel I didn't give it a fair chance, but it just lacks that birthday/funfetti cake flavor that you would expect. I also found the texture to be more icey than I did creamy, but the mixed-in sprinkles were a nice touch. I won't buy this one again, though.
*Flavor authenticity: 5/10
December 23, 2016
New York is one of the best places in the world for foodies, since there is practically an infinite number of restaurants and diners to suit all taste buds. With the new year right around the corner, you may already be planning your post-holiday strategy to eat a bit healthier and move your body a bit more. Thankfully, NYC is the perfect place for your tastebuds to dance while stil keeping on track with any certain diets that you may be following.
Here are some of our favorite spots to have a healthy, yummy lunch in NYC:
Glaze Teriyaki - If you want a lot of protein, you’ll find it at this Japanese restaurant in Midtown East. You get to choose from a variety of protein dishes (chicken breast, salmon, steak, boneless pork loin, tofu, etc…), and either rice or salad. Salmon, chicken, and tofu salad plates are also available with a variety of healthy dressing options.
The Little Beet - This is a nice little vegetarian-friendly restaurant. The menu may vary a bit depending on the location. You can count on each store providing the best seasonal and local ingredients whenever possible. The menu is categorized by healthy dish type: dairy-free, soy-free, gluten-free, vegan, vegetarian, and nut-free.
December 08, 2016
December 24th, 3:00pm. T-minus 4 hours until you need to head to your aunts house for Christmas Eve Dinner. Your cousin Susan calls to tell you that she decided to head over to her boyfriend Chad's house (come on, it's always a Chad), and asks if you'd be able to take care of dessert. Despite wanting to yell obscenities over the phone to Susan, you do what any good cousin would do and starting researching website after website on your iPhone trying to find the perfect recipe.
Long before we relied on our iPhones, our iPads, and even Pinterest to find the perfect comfort recipes, there were MyGreatRecipe cards. If you were born before the year 1997, chances are you remember seeing these cards in the kitchens of your grandmothers, your aunts, and your other older relatives whose name you can't remember. They would keep them in an index folder, and store them neatly behind the sugar jar or some other bizarre location. The folder usually had pasta sauce stains splattered on it, or a different questionable substance that you couldn't quite identify. It was their go-to catalog anytime they needed to reference an ingredient or get an idea for using up that last random carrot in their crisper drawer.
Introducing the *new* MyGreatRecipes, your one-stop website shop for any and all recipes that your little heart desires. Search, create, and save all of your recipes in one single place, right on your iPhone or Android phone. Share your collections on social media or explore other members roundups (like this yummy pancake collection) to find recipes from all over the web. Whether you're looking for quick & easy weeknight meals, to a special dessert that will outshine cousin Susan any day, MyGreatRecipes will quickly become your #1 source for cooking decisions. And let's be honest here, the most important decisions in life are those of food decisions.
I even put together my own collection, rounding up some desserts that I plan to
attempt make this holiday season. I usually go ham with the holiday baking, so I found a ton of ideas that I'm excited to try out! Like really, how cute are those wreaths above? I die.
You can view that collection here.
So, much like your grandmothers old index folder, you can always count on your recipes staying neatly in one place: your phone.
December 07, 2016
Back in June, I introduced a product to you that I had started to use religiously in order to achieve some #slaying legs for summer. Enter: the Silk'n Flash & Go Hair Removal System. This system is an at-home, light-based handheld device used for permanent hair removal right in he comfort of your own home. You apply the device to clean, shaven skin, and the pulsed light effects the follicles all the way down to the root. You're to invest 4-6 weeks of your time to see permanent results, and as it's now been 6 months, I figured an update was in order.
As I mentioned in my previous article about my journey to hair-less legs, the system comes in a zippered packaged with the cord included so you're all ready to go! You just plug it in, choose your level, and get to pulsing! For the first month, I found comfort at level 3 (out of 5), but I eventually moved it up to 4 after getting used to the feeling a little bit more. Which by the way, doesn't hurt at all, it's just a different kind of feeling, you know?
After 1 month, I had already seen results, and now, 6 months later, I'm happy to report that my legs are completely hair free! This product has singlehandedly allowed me to abolish leg shaving out of my shower routine, and I never thought I'd be abel to do that. I've recommended it to all of my girlfriends, and think this would make the perrrrfect gift for those special ladies in your life! Maybe host an at-home spa night, equipped with some mulled wine or cinnamon sangria, and hand these out to your gal pals? They'll be hair-free by next bikini season, making you the matriarch of the friend group, and everyone aspires to be the matriarch of the friend group.
PLUS, Silk'n is offering a 15% off discount until the end of 2016 when you use the code SilknTalk, so let the gift giving commence!
Here's a (#basicbetch) shot of my legs from our vacation to Punta Cana last week. Can we say #SLAY? Like, for real. My legs have never looked better and I have the Silk'n Flash & Go to thank for that!
*this post has been sponsored by Silk'n however all opinions are of my own